Wednesday, November 24, 2010

BREAKING POINT

As you may have guessed by now, I do not have the film finished.

I'm taking a break until after the first of the year.

I will admit, though, I really do need a break.  If you know me personally you know the truth of that statement.

If you know me personally, you also know how hard I resisted fought the very idea.

I spent the spring and summer researching and writing about biblical genealogies and a national radio show.  The amount of detail involved, the complete dissimilarity of subjects and writing styles, combined with creating characters on a level I never before attempted was daunting to say the least.  I was so involved in these projects I got a little stuck in my head.  A mental fog slowly and imperceptibly descended and lingered.  Even after the scripts were finished I pushed ahead into post-production on the film.  

I never really got my head back after those projects until last week, when I finally committed surrendered to a complete break until January.

Once I gained a little clarity and perspective I wondered, WHY have I been pushing so hard to complete this film?

One reason is that I have another writing/directing/acting project that begins after the first of the year, along with Ladies' Day and women's ministry responsibilities kicking into higher gears.  Having the film unfinished means I won't be able to give them as much attention as they need.

Another is that it would be nice to actually finish something and have it STAY FINISHED.  The vast majority of things I do on a daily basis are things that have to be done over and over.  There is always another meal to fix, another load of laundry to wash,another spot to clean, another drop off and pick up, another message to answer.  Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Ad nauseum.  Once the film is release it is D.O.N.E. -- DONE.

And, quite frankly, I am excited to see what happens when it is finally released.  I'm interested to hear what people say, both good and bad.  I want to see how others are blessed because God is working through the five loaves and two fish He gave me. 

But what it really boils down to is that I want it done because I want it done.  The problem is I never really asked The One Who Commissioned The Film In The First Place when HE wants it done.

I consulted my calendar instead of my Creator. 

Lesson learned.

However, my friends, there is no need to fear.  I still have a zillion other lessons to learn.  I'm sure, if you're still interested by then, I'll share them with you.

3 comments:

Cuppa Jo said...

Breaks are good . . .

Dave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave said...

GOD'S EMBROIDERY

When I was a little boy, my mother used to embroider a great deal. I would sit at her knee and look up from the floor and ask what she was doing. She informed me that she was embroidering. I told her that it looked like a mess from where I was, the underside. I watched her work within the boundaries of the little round hoop that she held in her hand.

She would smile at me, look down and gently say, "My son, you go about your playing for a while, and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side."

I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the bright ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view.

A few minutes would pass and then I would hear Mother's voice say, "Son, come and sit on my knee."

This I did, only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower or a sunset. I could not believe it, because from underneath it looked so messy.

Then Mother would say to me, "My son, from underneath it did look messy and jumbled, but you did not realize that there was a pre-drawn plan on the top. It was a design. I was only following it. Now look at it from my side and you will see what I was doing."

Many times through the years I have looked up to my Heavenly Father and said, "Father, what are You doing?"

He has answered, "I am embroidering your life."

I say, "But it looks like a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can't they all be bright?"

The Father seems to tell me, "My child, you go about your business of doing My business, and one day I will bring you to Heaven and put you on My knee and you will see the plan from My side."

~Corrie Ten Boom